‘Sometimes I Wonder’

‘Sometimes I Wonder’

* Cheating Death ‘Several times’ – Then i hear the Church bell chimes,
I’ve Been So many times in Hospital Beds,
though i woke up a little dreamy from all the Meds,
I never Really thanked the Gods Above,
But i know he Knew Of all my Love.
I Cherished Every moment at Presence,
though, forcing in belief i living a Pretense,
Mishaps always show me the way,
the feel of pain is Numb, i hadn’t noticed it go Away.
Soon i had been on my feet again,
knowing in life i had so much to Regain.
Accidents, almost losing my head,
you wouldn’t know looking at me, i was ‘The Walking Dead’.
I Drove my Car Tumbling Upside Down,
to wake Staring at a White Gown,
The Smile on the Face, who would hand me the Crown,
My Guardian mentions with a Frown.
“You are the Angel, that was Sent, to forget any Resent”,
i believe those words were Meant,

Car Crashed                         Guardian Angel

It all had started as a new Born,
with many Hearts and Minds were Torn,
My Mother almost Lost her Life,
which upset my Father, she being his Wife,
Heavily losing Blood, as i ripped her Umbilical cord,
but saved by the strength, of the ‘Lord’,
Further more, the lives were Granted,
Doctors and nurses, excited, reliefs were Chanted.
Though, from that day until the end,
it had been a struggle, for this pain to Mend.

mother & child after birth

‘Sometimes i Wonder’ if Life could be better,
and that is why i write this letter,
To remind myself, it could have been Worse,
that I am a ‘God sent’, & not a Curse,
Labelled a ‘Lifetime’, a “Good for Nothing’,
& in Retaliation & tiredness, Huffing & Puffing,
I Felt so much a ‘Loser’,
being Punched & Kicked, with Harsh Verbal, from the ‘Abuser’.
I was the Naughtiest child, at my young age,
that’s what they said, not allowed out, i felt ‘Locked in A Cage’.
I had so much Talent, though locked up & ‘Abused’,
Branded like an Animal, & also ‘Accused’.
Do this, Don’t do that, Nor make a Sound,
if i’d Disobey, i’d get Thumped to the Ground.

Child Abuse 1 Child Abuse 6 Child Abuse 7 Cover Photo for Advertisement

Nothing Really Matters Anymore, But it Does to Me,
i was forced to be Sad,but i still choose to be ‘Happy’.
So Many untold events in ‘My Life’,
even if i was Innocent, i still end of in ‘Strife’.
I have So much to Learn, from being ‘Good & Kind’,
it seems almost the same as being ‘Stupid & Blind’.
‘Sometimes I Wonder’ my Life to be different in Mind,
Like Magic & Potions together, Combined,
Just to Live a day not knowing the Pain,
Just to know Really, if i’m not Insane.
Yes, I wonder if i hadn’t been Tortured, Abused,
Robbed of the Spotlight, Pushed Aside & Used,
Would i still have been a Creative Person who Cared,
or a Dull & Cruel Crook who never Shared.
Whatever it was, that had ‘Set me Back’,
Helping hands of time to Mend, but with my strength i won’t Slack.
I Will Always know who i am, coz i’m the Man,
The only One who lives my Life, The Only One who Can.
‘I Always Wonder’

Written & Published by       http://www.JohnsonMjr1.com  check out my website

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