I Could Not Save You My Good Friend. Part 2

Part 2                                       I Could Not Save You My Good Friend

I Now had Uncurled that Tail of mine,
having been told the Truth, 
Relieving me of the Agony lived with, for so much time.

After some research, then being told,
to release all guilty feelings, & for my Strength to Hold,

I then had been informed of the Tragic News,
which made me upset, now i was on a Rampage to find more Clues.

Funeral 1

First of all to let you all know,
that this my friends is not some hype, 
& nor some cheap lie, or a Far fetched Show.

With whatever comes next with at visual replayed,
& before i get there, I Must clear my Throat, without further Delayed,

This is what i have to say to give you all a Logic View,
Describing of the Where, what, when, Why & Who,

I who Lived a Life of Heartache & Grief,
Surely had no intentions to inflict pain on others, 
with I Informing in one short Brief,

I lived my Years Athletic & Number 1,
i would finish first completing all Tracks, 
with my Adrenalin running wild, after hearing the start up Gun.

I Never knew of Drugs or what they were for,
nor even Nescafe, or Coca Cola, 
but used to watch people Crave & insist on More,

Until one day when my dreams had been forced to an Absolute Halt,
with life changing instants character provoked change with a Jolt.

I had been So upset this one last Straw which topped the Ice,
the people who were supposed to love me, forced me into paying their price.

I got mixed up with the Neglected type,
who taught me everything about the wrong & Right,

but i always had a passion for Staying in Control,
with all in Moderation, as i remained eager towards Life, with All my Soul.

I Never revolved Life around Drugs,
but it always seemed, that i Couldn’t evade all the hardcore Thugs,

I made friends with all type,
because i considered everyone equal, feeling All your heartbeats, Now, that’s Hype

What’s for sure is that i’m No Saint,
i’v made many mistakes, with now with my words of Wisdom, you visualize pictures, the One’s that i Paint.

‘Tony’, in all that happened that night,
Still had an attachment on Heroin, 
but for me it was a one off thing, coz i couldn’t Stand the Drug, That’s Right.

I Now Hate the Drug so much more,
as he Finally Lost his Life, 
Finally His Lights Turned Off, & Also the closure of Doors.

Funeral Holy Light Candle lights

I did not know His Weakness at the time,
i answered i could find, this so called Heroin, this ugly Drug, this Grime.

I felt this Grief, This Guilt, This Shame,
but people who new me & what happened, always said the same thing, ‘Your Not To Blame’,

Even a Cop who was a God Parent to Tony’s Child,
mentioned to me, He Chose his Destiny, always being so Wild.

This Cop even Said that when he was found Dead,
(2 months after we had broke Friendship), this Dealer of his, had picked up & Fled.

I Babysit Tony’s Son when he was in Jail,
my left arm in a Cast, it was time to rehabilitate behind the Rail.

Though, that went all Sour,
coz when he got Out, He went Chasing ‘Harry’, every minute, every Hour.

I hadn’t been their after he Got Out,
i was accused of an Affair with his wife when he was in, besides she was at Work, & he surely didn’t know what he was talking about,

He was found in his Car outside of our Local Cemetery Dead,
He Injected Bad Stuff, & that’s why His Dealer Fled.

You Dirty Rotten Basted, you Dirty Prick, taking Advantage of people with your Dirty Trick.

Theirs more to the Story than meets the Eye, as i buried my friend, and i didn’t even get to Say Bye.

But i know your in a place that’s better, R.I.P My Friend,
with an Apology as i write this Letter,

I’m Sorry i was not there with a Mind to Lend,
I’m Sorry I Could Not Save You My Good Friend..! 

Dedicated to my Good Friend Tony, a Victim of Past & Addictions, though,
I who have lived a Dark Path, can tell you one thing;
Most of the Drug users that i have come across, had been the most gentle &
most talented persons.
We are all Gods Creation, & I will not Stop Association when i come across All types of Characters, i can handle myself, this a part of life..
Most Definite of all, I am not afraid of what others say,
knowing yourself!
My Prerogative – Be Natural

Written by                 www.JohnsonMjr1.com

I Could Not Save You My Good Friend

Part 1

                                                I Could Not Save You My Good Friend..

Guardian Angel

Do you Remember, when we met First time at the Bar, You made the Night Glow, You were the Main Star,
Entertaining all the faces well Known, wearing the Crown, your Blazing talents you had Shown.
You were the Head Bar man, whilst serving the drinks, Eliminating Med’s & also the Shrinks,
The Bar over Crowded each & Every night, everybody flying high, as high as the flying Kite,
It Was a place called ‘Down Under’, where every night, there it would Thunder,
with the music that you played from your Heart like ‘Stevie Wonder’.
You were the New Day & Age, You made the Bar tops the Stage,
with the guests in all commotions, rushing in, on all Rage,
Pushing on each other Just to get the first seat, You had to be there to feel the Heat.
I would come round the place, once or twice a week, i was hooked on your charm, exactly what any person would seek,
Good Rhythm , great Vibe, Atmosphere Complete, the best bar in town, no others could Compete.

Pubpubs fun
we would compare & share journeys from our past, we were both equal, never looked at each other, ‘First or Last’.
Moments that we made in the past left a History, we had the crowd left in laughter’s, and for some it was a Mystery.
You would hand me the Mic, just to get me psyched, because anything i did or say, was in favor to be liked.
Motivation was your number one Charm, you played a lot of Rhythm holding bongos in your arms,
Bongy tongy tong, tongy tong, boost my Confidence to sing my song,
In front of the Crowd, feeling loud and Proud,
cause that’s what i wanted to do, you knew just who i was, you knew that somewhere in side of me, belonged a crazy kind of OZ.
Now i was Hooked, popped round Every Single night, i remember even asking you, ‘If this was polite’.
Sure not a prob you said, tonight the drinks are on the House, here drink these shots of the ‘Famous Grouse’.
Damn this feeling was ‘frickin’ Insane, just like ‘Cyprus Hill’, Insane in the Membraine,
A dozen Pints of Beer, & a Spliff of Mary Jane, we chased a bit of Heroin, & Sniffed some Cocaine,

drugs
It was a mix of all the wild and good intention motives, as our Hearts were racing happiness, like all Running Coyotes.
That was a night of the Glorified moment told, But, without my stupid mind knowing, selling my self to the Devil Bold.
It’s not about the drugs, though what happened next had been my next Conviction, but being wild in Nature was my main Addiction.
whilst all negative posers provoking me mad, Overtaking those Obstacles evading the bad, which was the biggest mistake i ending off Sad.
You were my best friend, and although you were Older, you put me in place, word of mouth and your hand on my Shoulder,
you looked up to me too, i felt worthy of being Initiated, For once in my Life as a friend, i felt so Bloody Appreciated.
I Feel So Reckless, that i hadn’t known your Past, & when you asked me to find Heroin, i placed my thoughts last,
‘Dirty Mother Fucking Harry’, Stole my friend once before, nearly turned out his lights, and almost Closed his doors,
Put him in Rehab, because my friend was to weak, His Will was far beyond reach, and not in mind to seek.
Unlike me, different aspects in Mind, i had a conscience not to get hooked, Be Aware & Not Blind.
Being a friend with this Bloke, with a unique talent so Rare, you’d do anything he’d ask of you, you understand me too, and you to, would Really Care,
He never ever told me that he had recently disconnected, from this Drug they call ‘Heroin’,
they gave back to him, this Life his Guardian Angels had Protected.
he seemed So Stronger than your average man, i always had followed him, Coz i knew he had the Best of Plans,
He had opened my eyes to the unknown world, as he Always boost my intelligence, though me the Ungrateful, ‘In my Ass, my Tale Now Curled’.

                                  to be continued, 06/12/14

Dedicated to my long lost friend Tony,

written by       www.JohnsonMjr1.com

‘Sometimes I Wonder’

‘Sometimes I Wonder’

* Cheating Death ‘Several times’ – Then i hear the Church bell chimes,
I’ve Been So many times in Hospital Beds,
though i woke up a little dreamy from all the Meds,
I never Really thanked the Gods Above,
But i know he Knew Of all my Love.
I Cherished Every moment at Presence,
though, forcing in belief i living a Pretense,
Mishaps always show me the way,
the feel of pain is Numb, i hadn’t noticed it go Away.
Soon i had been on my feet again,
knowing in life i had so much to Regain.
Accidents, almost losing my head,
you wouldn’t know looking at me, i was ‘The Walking Dead’.
I Drove my Car Tumbling Upside Down,
to wake Staring at a White Gown,
The Smile on the Face, who would hand me the Crown,
My Guardian mentions with a Frown.
“You are the Angel, that was Sent, to forget any Resent”,
i believe those words were Meant,

Car Crashed                         Guardian Angel

It all had started as a new Born,
with many Hearts and Minds were Torn,
My Mother almost Lost her Life,
which upset my Father, she being his Wife,
Heavily losing Blood, as i ripped her Umbilical cord,
but saved by the strength, of the ‘Lord’,
Further more, the lives were Granted,
Doctors and nurses, excited, reliefs were Chanted.
Though, from that day until the end,
it had been a struggle, for this pain to Mend.

mother & child after birth

‘Sometimes i Wonder’ if Life could be better,
and that is why i write this letter,
To remind myself, it could have been Worse,
that I am a ‘God sent’, & not a Curse,
Labelled a ‘Lifetime’, a “Good for Nothing’,
& in Retaliation & tiredness, Huffing & Puffing,
I Felt so much a ‘Loser’,
being Punched & Kicked, with Harsh Verbal, from the ‘Abuser’.
I was the Naughtiest child, at my young age,
that’s what they said, not allowed out, i felt ‘Locked in A Cage’.
I had so much Talent, though locked up & ‘Abused’,
Branded like an Animal, & also ‘Accused’.
Do this, Don’t do that, Nor make a Sound,
if i’d Disobey, i’d get Thumped to the Ground.

Child Abuse 1 Child Abuse 6 Child Abuse 7 Cover Photo for Advertisement

Nothing Really Matters Anymore, But it Does to Me,
i was forced to be Sad,but i still choose to be ‘Happy’.
So Many untold events in ‘My Life’,
even if i was Innocent, i still end of in ‘Strife’.
I have So much to Learn, from being ‘Good & Kind’,
it seems almost the same as being ‘Stupid & Blind’.
‘Sometimes I Wonder’ my Life to be different in Mind,
Like Magic & Potions together, Combined,
Just to Live a day not knowing the Pain,
Just to know Really, if i’m not Insane.
Yes, I wonder if i hadn’t been Tortured, Abused,
Robbed of the Spotlight, Pushed Aside & Used,
Would i still have been a Creative Person who Cared,
or a Dull & Cruel Crook who never Shared.
Whatever it was, that had ‘Set me Back’,
Helping hands of time to Mend, but with my strength i won’t Slack.
I Will Always know who i am, coz i’m the Man,
The only One who lives my Life, The Only One who Can.
‘I Always Wonder’

Written & Published by       http://www.JohnsonMjr1.com  check out my website

We Are The World

Friend, Truth & Lessons to Perfect

 

Friend who Never Was

  Born to this Life Ungratefully, i Sometimes feel lately that i ‘Complain’ more than i ‘Gratify’, even though i have smiled ‘Every single day of my Life’, even if others have made me Cry within, or have seen things that had emotionally brought tears rolling down my cheek; I had taught myself to Identify the difference between/from ‘Lies’ & ‘Truth’, who my Friends Really are, when you need them, if they show.. Well, i know that i would show, like always i gave a part of myself to all in need, or those of Greed, who would then use what they had learnt by me, and boast, with a claim that it was by them.. take the credit, i see your’e a thieving user & a Cheat, anyways (many have ‘labelled’ you many a Times), and know that you hadn’t used the knowledge correctly, but i hold the Blue Prints, detailed the path i took to accumulate such Journey & knowledge, proving myself, to someones inquiry moments prior to..

You don’t need to Justify yourself, when you are Honestly True to yourself!!!, though i felt the need to put this Selfish Low Life Terrorist in his place, who had met his Match maker, now he has left the State, in hiding, because the Imitation Gangster that he is, revealed to others he had destroyed Heavily in the past, are now looking for him, (now these old friends of mine are on my side, as we shared & compared our Stories, finding that this Terrorist had plots on all of us, bringing us all to Shame for all these years Blaming one another, for one Scum bag – Better late than Never) knowing he ‘Ain’t all that’.. God Be with you.., Thank god, i Stood up to him, as now for many years, those who he brain washed, framing us behind our Backs for things that he had done, Eg:- Call private numbers, to others ladies, promising their Lovers were two timing them, leading to Divorces, and Separations; also learning now, recently, that he had broken into cars of ours, and Stolen our Mobile phones, and Laptops from others in the Crowd, to gain access to our lives.. Good thing for me, mine was a Crap telephone, as i would only use it for work, because i learned from Australia, due to heavy Crime rate with Life threatening experiences to be Extra Careful., I’v seen things i shouldn’t have, though i had also learnt from, besides, i’m also a Brother from another Mother, but i Always Give ‘True Love to my Crowd’, even if i Know You or Not, just like ‘God Loves a Thief as Much as the Gentleman’,
To the destroyer – i may be a ‘Good Person’, but Stupid for You, But i wasn’t Born Yesterday, i knew your type when i met you, and should have taken action then, though, i hadn’t & i am a true believer in this saying, ‘What goes around comes around’ – ‘Karma’.. because, One whole lifetime, i am witnessing come backs ‘One’ after the other’..

Everything Matters to me..!
How about You?..
You thought you walk in my shoes, wake up from your dreams).. besides, did you think i didn’t see you? i bought that phone with a pre-paid card for work, costing 15 euros, & not once had i called a friend on it, not that i have anything to hide. This was one week Ordeal, now i’m constantly on my Guard, as Usual – ‘Always Expect the Unexpected?, but I, ‘With a Smile’ will live my Life happy, & Live ..:)))))..
I Walk with the benefit of the doubt, though always on Guard, & Loyal.. Truthfully we are all Humans with different Views & circumstances, we know we should be Nice to one another, though too nice is asking for trouble if your’e not careful.. besides, ‘We can’t All be the same’, with each individual walking separate paths, this is what Educates Us all – Difference & Togetherness..

Racial

I thought i got used to Racism, though to see a person minding their own business, walking down the Street, who had migrated to a Foreign country with a desire to be here.., then out of nowhere, in front of my wife & daughter, he shouts from his car, (Local Lingo) ‘Hey Blacky’, Go back Home’, slowing his car at walking pace next to the Bloke, tagging along with him; (my daughter, picks up every detail, & she is a recording machine) now he’s passing me, and i called out to him, then he slowed to a halt, with his whole arm out the car, and i said to him in English, I’m from Australia, give me a Comment, make me Laugh, & teach my daughter Something to remember you by, and by the way you are double the mans color that you had called ‘Blacky’; He Froze speechless, realizing my Wife was foreign and i was Local, when i started to speak the Local language perfectly, as i  told him to park his car, and i’l be back momentarily, pulling out my mobile, facing it to his Car, he sped off in Shame & most of all in fear..
By the way, i temporarily Live in Europe.. Where anything goes..? I guess when you grow older, you understand the severity, it wasn’t fair on the people who witnessed this careless act, who placed filth upon Innocent people’s mind…  I was thanked by cars passing by, but i didn’t reply, i kept on my way, teaching my girl that this is Life, & she was at the fresh age of Four, asked saying, “daddy, why does that man say ‘Blacky’ to the other man”; (I was ‘Fuming’ inside, but this was a moment to educate at time of need, scrounging in mind for an excuse to give to her), “because my little Princess, some people get upset with themselves sometimes, & they take it out on others”, i reply, looking at my Wife, & she looking at me, in relief i had approached the matter Calm.. My daughter finally adds, “Not good, naughty man”….

——————————————————————-

I try not to turn on the T.V, because all you see is Terrorist in all forms, either it being the governments, imperfect nature towards tax payers, soldiers on missions to fight Terrorist, unemployment rates, criminal activities on the rise, more violence than ever, so i don’t know why, if i’m becoming soft, though, each time i look at my growing girl, i fear the Crime rate Grows faster and stronger, as she is still young; Question is, so far i have reflected with Good manors, educating her delicately, with productiveness; ‘Now’ do i also teach her Self Defense in between; see the way i see it, i know that i won’t be their always for her, and i don’t think i can handle it, if something should ever happen, Uncalled for..
Mentally, we are forced to Keep Our Guard as society is ‘Unpredictable’, coming up with different & New ways to Cut Corners which always spells ‘Trouble’; Why you ask? Just like the 5(Five) W’s, without knowing them all, you lack knowledge of Discipline.

I sat in disgust and put some pictures in a video, and although it needs some touch ups, i just thought to keep the moment alive, and remind people to pass this on to people who need to see, and remind themselves, “WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER”.

Published by   www.JohnsonMjr.com

How to be Happy Within

Being Happy Within, Only is from Purity and Self Dependent, it doesn’t mean you ‘Own a Business’, nor do you even ‘Work’, You can even live in the Streets, as homeless people do, maybe not even be Homeless, just love the idea to live in the wild, and getaway from Materialistic undesirables, have lot’s of money, maybe you do, what’s the use of being filthy rich, and not able to spend it all, before your dying days, Lives are in poverty, in need of Real attention, who will help the ‘Soul in Need’.?, Who are you, who are they, they don’t know you, you don’t know them, but what about the Land of Potential, Mother Nature, Gods Creation, Given to us Free of Charge, but we Steal her Productive Growing medicine that could Cure the world from diseases and Plague, but we seek beyond our needs, towards wanting more becoming Greed, forgetting if we plant a seed, “If it’s Right, or wrong, Take what you Need, not what you want”.. Show the Children the Values of The Future, and generations to have the ability to witness, Evolution, kindly changing, rather than feeding their minds with Competitions, resulting in hate and Demolitions..

I am happy even though i lived a hard Abused Life, but, i’m not the only one, God bless all the hurt souls, i hope you find your way, if you are on your own doing it, we know people in your life hate on you this very moment we breathe, and blame us for their every mistake, although they have Sinned heavily, without anyone witnessing their past they paint the picture and portrait of us, of the things they did without a care, setting us back for their selfish greedy selves, plus more.., but i don’t care, i entertain myself, and a good crowd..

I’l let you in on a Secret, I never showed Gratitude, when i found out they were dissing me, even when they called me Ungrateful, selfish or Crazy, but that’s not my Secret, the Biggest of my Secrets was and is, Never Let Anyone tell you who ‘You Are’, because only you live in your Body, as i’ve mentioned elsewhere 24/7/365 days, i am who i am such as you, and we alone know what we dwelt with, who we are, and if you don’t know who you are, then your nor bright are you, even if you don’t smile on the outside, you always have to smile on the Inside..

You can never be Lonely, Pick a Passion, get out and do it, don’t give up, otherwise it get’s worse, just that time you spend dwelling over setbacks, which bring setbacks, always keep motivated, ‘A Must at All Cost’.. Times are tough, though, times are good, lessons, experience, brings knowledge, and wisdom, draw a plan, write some steps, and follow each one ‘In Order’, and surely you will get to where your going..! Respect the rightful ways, even if your a RuffNut all for image, Snap out of it, you are not the only special treatment around, if you believe your worth more than anybody else, we are all in this together, so, Be Truthful to yourself With a SMILE….!

www.JohnsonMjr1.com