Deep Feelings

(TO THE ONE I FEEL EMOTIONs & TRUST FOR)

candle lit, and there before it you sit

If Only she knew, just how I felt inside,
Even a little clue, I’d gain & gain more pride,
but don’t you worry my sweet child,
I’m gonna tell you all my thoughts,  that go running wild.

It’s from the first day I laid my eyes on you,
Then I realized you were looking back at me too.
Face to face, I was in a tight place,
My Heart had to be put to its normal beating pace.

Extraordinary feelings rushed through my nerves,
I tried to overcome it with some violent curves:
I failed there was nothing I could do,
So that’s why, I wrote this song for you!

Babe, I love You,
Babe I care,
Babe, I’m the ‘Only’ who can take you there.

What I see, is how I see, I can’t change exactly what I plea,
What I feel, is how I feel, My heart and brain made that deal.
That’s why when I look into your eyes,
They show the Truth and not some phony lies,
This very first time I feel this way,
Yet I can’t get these feelings to go away;
My thoughts of you are stronger than glue,
But to understand, all my deep feelings are you.

Babe, I Love you,
Babe, I care,
Babe, I’m the only, who can take you there…!

Written by
Johnson Major

I Could Not Save You My Good Friend. Part 2

Part 2                                       I Could Not Save You, My Good Friend,

I Now had Uncurled that Tail of mine,
having been told the Truth, 
Relieving me of the Agony lived with, for so much time.

After some research, then being told,
to release all guilty feelings, & for my Strength to Hold,

I then had been informed of the Tragic News,
which made me upset, now I was on a Rampage to find more Clues.

Funeral 1

First of all to let you all know,
that this my friends is not some hype, 
& nor some cheap lie, or a Far fetched Show.

With whatever comes next with at visual replayed,
& before I get there, I Must clear my Throat, without further Delayed,

This is what I have to say to give you all a Logic View,
Describing the Where, what, when, Why & Who,

I who Lived a Life of Heartache & Grief,
Surely had no intentions to inflict pain on others, 
with I Informing in one short Brief,

I lived my Years Athletic & Number 1,
i would finish first completing all Tracks, 
with my Adrenalin running wild, after hearing the startup Gun.

I Never knew of Drugs or what they were for,
nor even Nescafe, or Coca Cola, 
but used to watch people Crave & insist on More,

Until one day when my dreams had been forced to an Absolute Halt,
with life-changing instants, character provoked change with a Jolt.

I had been So upset this one last Straw which topped the Ice,
the people who were supposed to love me forced me into paying their price.

I got mixed up with the Neglected type,
who taught me everything about the wrong & Right,

but I always had a passion for Staying in Control,
with all in Moderation, as I remained eager towards Life, with All my Soul.

I Never revolved Life around Drugs,
but it always seemed that I Couldn’t evade all the hardcore Thugs,

I made friends with all type,
because I considered everyone equal, feeling All your heartbeats, Now, that’s Hype

What’s for sure is that I’m No Saint,
I ‘v made many mistakes, with now with my words of Wisdom, you visualize pictures, the One’s that I Paint.

‘Tony’, in all that happened that night,
Still had an attachment on Heroin, 
but for me, it was a one-off thing, coz I couldn’t Stand the Drug, That’s Right.

I Now Hate the Drug so much more,
as he Finally Lost his Life, 
Finally His Lights Turned Off, & Also the closure of Doors.

Funeral Holy Light Candle lights

I did not know His Weakness at the time,
I answered I could find, this so-called Heroin, this ugly Drug, this Grime.

I felt this Grief, This Guilt, This Shame,
but people who knew me & what happened always said the same thing, ‘Your Not To Blame’,

Even a Cop who was a God Parent to Tony’s Child,
mentioned to me, He Chose his Destiny, always being so Wild.

This Cop even Said that when he was found Dead,
(2 months after we had broke Friendship), this Dealer of his, had picked up & Fled.

I Babysit Tony’s Son when he was in Jail,
my left arm in a Cast, it was time to rehabilitate behind the Rail.

Though, that went all Sour,
coz when he got out, He went Chasing ‘Harry’, every minute, every Hour.

I hadn’t been there after he Got Out,
I was accused of an affair with his wife when he was in, besides she was at Work, & he surely didn’t know what he was talking about,

He was found in his Car outside of our Local Cemetery Dead,
He Injected Bad Stuff, & that’s why His Dealer Fled.

You Dirty Rotten Basted, you Dirty Prick, taking Advantage of people with your Dirty Trick.

Theirs more to the Story than meets the eye, as I buried my friend, and I didn’t even get to Say Bye.

But I know your in a place that’s better, R.I.P My Friend,
with an Apology as I write this Letter,

I’m sorry I was not there with a Mind to Lend,
I’m Sorry I Could Not Save You, My Good Friend..! 

Dedicated to my Good Friend Tony, a Victim of Past & Addictions, though,
I who have lived a Dark Path can tell you one thing;
Most of the Drug users that I have come across, had been the most gentle &
most talented persons.
We are all God’s Creation, & I will not Stop Association when I come across All types of Characters, I can handle myself, this a part of life…
Most Definite of all, I am not afraid of what others say,
knowing yourself!
My Prerogative – Be Natural

Written by                 www.JohnsonMjr1.com

I Could Not Save You My Good Friend

Part 1

                                                I Could Not Save You, My Good Friend…

Guardian Angel

Do you remember, when we met First time at the Bar, You made the Night Glow, You were the Main Star,
Entertaining all the faces well Known, wearing the Crown, your Blazing talents you had Shown.
You were the Head Barman, whilst serving the drinks, Eliminating Med’s & also the Shrinks,
The Bar over Crowded each & Every night, everybody flying high, as high as the flying Kite,
It Was a place called ‘Down Under’, where every night, there it would Thunder,
with the music that you played from your Heart like ‘Stevie Wonder’.
You were the New Day & Age, You made the Bar tops the Stage,
with the guests in all commotions, rushing in, on all Rage,
Pushing on each other Just to get the first seat, You had to be there to feel the Heat.
I would come round the place, once or twice a week, I was hooked on your charm, exactly what any person would seek,
Good Rhythm, great Vibe, Atmosphere Complete, the best bar in town, no others could Compete.

Pubpubs fun
we would compare & share journeys from our past, we were both equal, never looked at each other, ‘First or Last’.
Moments that we made in the past left a History, we had the crowd left in laughter, and for some, it was a Mystery.
You would hand me the Mic, just to get me psyched, because anything I did or said, was in favor to be liked.
Motivation was your number one Charm, you played a lot of Rhythm holding bongos in your arms,
Bongy tongy tong, tongy tong, boost my Confidence to sing my song,
In front of the Crowd, feeling loud and Proud,
cause that’s what I wanted to do, you knew just who I was, you knew that somewhere inside of me, belonged a crazy kind of OZ.
Now I was Hooked, popped round Every Single night, I remember even asking you, ‘If this was polite’.
Sure not a prob you said, tonight the drinks are on the House, here drink these shots of the ‘Famous Grouse’.
Damn this feeling was ‘frickin’ Insane, just like ‘Cyprus Hill’, Insane in the Membrane,
A dozen Pints of Beer, & a Spliff of Mary Jane, we chased a bit of Heroin, & Sniffed some Cocaine,

drugs
It was a mix of all the wild and good intention motives, as our Hearts were racing happiness, like all Running Coyotes.
That was a night of the Glorified moment told, But, without my stupid mind knowing, selling my self to the Devil Bold.
It’s not about the drugs, though what happened next had been my next Conviction, being wild in Nature was my main Addiction.
whilst all negative posers provoking me mad, Overtaking those Obstacles evading the bad, which was the biggest mistake I ending off Sad.
You were my best friend, and although you were Older, you put me in place, word of mouth and your hand on my Shoulder,
you looked up to me too, I felt worthy of being Initiated, For once in my life as a friend, I felt so Bloody Appreciated.
I Feel So Reckless, that I hadn’t known your Past, & when you asked me to find Heroin, I placed my thoughts last,
‘Dirty Mother Fucking Harry’, Stole my friend once before, nearly turned out his lights, and almost Closed his doors,
Put him in Rehab, because my friend was too weak, His Will was far beyond reach, and not in mind to seek.
Unlike me, different aspects in mind, I had a conscience not to get hooked, Be Aware & Not Blind.
Being a friend with this Bloke, with a unique talent so Rare, you’d do anything he’d ask of you, you understand me too, and you too, would Really Care,
He never ever told me that he had recently disconnected, from this Drug they call ‘Heroin’,
they gave back to him, this Life his Guardian Angels had Protected.
he seemed So Stronger than your average man, I always had followed him, Coz I knew he had the Best of Plans,
He had opened my eyes to the unknown world, as he Always boosts my intelligence, though me the Ungrateful, ‘In my Ass, my Tale Now Curled’.

                                  to be continued, 06/12/14

Dedicated to my long lost friend Tony,

written by       www.JohnsonMjr1.com

*This Is a Mans World*

*This is a Mans World*  Their is a Reason Why..!

WARNING:- If Your heart is too soft, or the Truth Hurts, You should not read on,
So Don’t Criticize me, when I tell you I had been Truly Honest even in Hurtful relationships in the past, & I’m still a Descent Person, he who had Opportunities to be in High Advantaged Bands, like in 1 case, one of the 3rd best drummers Locally, had lost his Life on a ‘750cc Suzuki GSXR Motor Bike’ Accident, as he decided one night to have a Friendly race with one of his mates, who he had met at the Traffic Lights, which had turned green & off they sped, clipping each other’s handlebars, after a wide fishtail, his bike slipped & he ended in the gutter head first, with an Instant Death; Prior to that, we had Arrangements, I would Write & Sing the lyrics  as he loved a piece that I had written for him, though Descent music In between Seal, & Lionel Richie;.., it did not happen, Instead I Buried my Friend, & Buried my Dreams with him..,

Still Eager to Manage my Hobbies as a Writer – Music, poems, Stories – Non-fiction, Children’s books, Fiction, & whatever the Creative mind Visions with passion, Lost Few of my friends, as I had been absent, & Numb Minded, with ‘Time’ being a ‘Friend’ to ‘Heal’ a ‘Feared Soul’;
In fear to Involve or Commit myself to a Friendship with others then, what if I Lose Another.

Not Long later, I had been Drinking for Seven months Straight at a Bar as a Full-time Customer, & met up with a Swedish Bloke, He had to be ‘1st best musician Locally, – (Drummer, bongos, benches, glass cups with water, mouth, Organ, Guitar, & whatever else he could play music with)., it had taken us 7 months to realize we were good friends, & I looked up to him, he is 5/6 years older than me. He worked with a Style that made even a Statue Smile, he always knew how to break the Ice, meaning, there was never a person who would leave the Bar Unhappy, but always to leave with a Memory Unforgotten…

I was a baby sitter to his Child for 2 months as he was away, then when he returned after his duty, we somehow drifted apart for at least 2 months, to then be called by his wife, to inform to me, that he had been found ‘Dead’ outside the Cemetery in his Car.
I was Shocked & felt Guilty, knowing we had been in a Conflict, before losing touch of each other those 2 months before; it was a Misunderstanding that should not have happened, though I also had in mind to approach him & ask him to Reconsider our friendship, no matter who’s a fault it had been, I was too late. I buried him & our Plans to Rock the Nation…
Losing friends was One of my Ugliest Hobbies, with Me Drifting away from myself, Let alone, my life of Abuse that I had Lived Scarring me to an extent, I felt I could not find anymore my ‘Direction’, feeling Deflated, Exhausted, Cursed, & Useless..,  So I continued on following my Shady Shadow of a Life…

If I had made People Laugh, it was because I had been Sad inside,

If it had been stolen from me, I would have given it away anyways,

If I had given my Sincere Love to the wrong Lady, I would have Lost my Love from Her before realizing it – She taking advantage of my Kindness…

My Pure Kindness had always been a Threat to those, who were Threatened by me, accusing me of being shifty.

We were once Innocent Beings Until we witnessed Sins.

Like a Virgin losing her Virginity

and Good doesn’t stay Good Forever…!!

This is also abusive to the Guilty who have been sexist & in Denial of themselves, stating half a story, evading the core of problems, leading to discrimination, upon others…

I am not Racist nor Sexist, just writing this piece from experiences, & why not, also & ‘Only’ for those Ladies who Don’t get it & always blame Men for everything that ever went ‘Wrong’ by previous relationships, and for Fun writing, –  Creating pictures with words”.

Creative Writing, just having some fun, with words…

Before, the woman stood up for Equality,
to Live a life of Normality,
Crying, what man can do, I can do better,
so it was agreed after the vote, to ‘Let Her’.
But you see, some woman lost the whole point,
they cry they don’t need Men, but it ‘Aches’ in their Joint.

Who’s going to buy me a special Gift?
or a shoulder to lean on, when she needs a lift.?
But the fact of this matter is, Loves not Only about ‘Sex’ & ‘Materialistic’,
b, coz, c’mon, let’s be Realistic,
You know that it takes, Two to Dance, two to Tango,
Loves not always Paradise, like a Tropical Mango.
Stick it Through, Thick n Thin,
& don’t go Slagging him because of your Sins.!

Let’s go back way, way, in time of Birth,
if it wasn’t for Males Sperm, you wouldn’t be here on ‘Earth’.
But, I’ll slow down a little & let’s not get ‘Hasty’,
Both genders know Bad words become ‘Pasty’.
Previous Relationships, might not have gone so well,
with loss of control emotionally, cursing the other to Hell.
‘This is a Mans World’, ‘You got that Right’,
but I’ll explain to you why, so we both don’t fight.

Men don’t Own the World, if that’s what Gal’s think,
if you listen closely to my words that Link.
Men decided to keep a woman safe from Harm,
so he Built & Fitted Houses with Security Alarms,
He Built Fences around his Loved ones, ‘That’s Right’,
to try and keep them safe, Day & Night,
He works in Construction sites, to bring money in,
to also protect the woman’s skin.

I’m Sure a man can’t do many things a woman can,
but if you want ‘Love to work’, then talk to him about your Plan.
A man knows when to be delicate with a ‘Real Lady’,
but a selfish one demands things she shouldn’t, then he becomes ‘Shady’.
A man is simple if he’s a Real man Taught,
but if you Hurt him, Don’t expect more than Naught.
So, without a Man in your Life, You could Never be a ‘Wife’,
but understand a decent man, could get you out of ‘Strife’.

The man’s instinct is to build Roads & Bridges,
to make easier to get over difficult Ridges,
He believes the Disgusting & Dirty jobs to do,
that’s because he thinks of his Lady, ‘His Precious’ that’s True.!
So he’ll build you a foundation to work on later,
he’ll leave you with the pleasant jobs, ‘Yes You the Decorator’.
Back in the days, he would Hunt you food,
& try many ways to keep your Good mood.

You know it’s true, he tried many ways,
but with all your complaints, we thank the Lord we only have Seven days. – ‘just kidding’
Don’t get me wrong, whatever you do,
We all have made mistakes, ‘They’, ‘Me’, & ‘You’,
Some Men are ‘Pigs’ & Don’t have ‘no Morals’,
they Evade what’s Right, to end it in Quarrels,
Some Men don’t Deserve a Life of Paradise,
but for those someday, they ‘Will Pay the Price’.
I believe in Equality, & Each with a Fair Share,
If you don’t have these, then ‘Nobody Cares’.
‘This Is A Mans World’, but not as it reads,
it was all for the Ladies, producing New Leads,
So not All people Have to be Right,
but Remember to keep Sane, Long Live the Fight.

https://youtu.be/Febr_t_qa9U

Written by The Messenger     www.JohnsonMjr1.com

We Are The World

Friend, Truth & Lessons to Perfect

 

A friend who Never Was

  Born to this Life Ungratefully, I Sometimes feel lately that I ‘Complain’ more than I ‘Gratify’, even though I have smiled ‘Every single day of my Life’, even if others have made me Cry within, or have seen things that had emotionally brought tears rolling down my cheek; I had taught myself to Identify the difference between/from ‘Lies’ & ‘Truth’, who my Friends Really are when you need them if they show.. Well, I know that I would show, like always I gave a part of myself to all in need, or those of Greed, who would then use what they had learned by me, and boast, with a claim that it was by them.. take the credit, I see you’re a thieving user & a Cheat, anyways (many have ‘labeled’ you many a Times), and know that you hadn’t used the knowledge correctly, but I hold the Blue Prints, detailed the path I took to accumulate such Journey & knowledge, proving myself, to someone’s inquiry moments prior to…

You don’t need to justify yourself when you are Honestly True to yourself!!!, though I felt the need to put this Selfish Low Life in his place, who had met his Matchmaker, now he has left the State, in hiding, because the Imitation Gangster that he is, revealed to others he had destroyed Heavily in the past, are now looking for him, (now these old friends of mine are on my side, as we shared & compared our Stories, finding that this creep had plotted on all of us, bringing us all to Shame for all these years Blaming one another, for one Scum bag – Better late than Never!) knowing he ‘Ain’t all that’… God Be with you.., Thank god, I Stood up to him, as now for many years, those who he had brainwashed, framing us behind our Backs for things that he had done, Eg:- Call private numbers, to others ladies, promising their Lovers were two-timing them, leading to Divorces, and Separations; also learning now, recently, that he had broken into cars of ours, and Stolen our Mobile phones, and Laptops from others in the Crowd, to gain access to our lives… Good thing for me, mine was a Crap telephone, as I would only use it for work, because I learned from Australia, due to heavy Crime rate with Life-threatening experiences to be Extra Careful., I’ve seen things I shouldn’t have, though I had also learned from, besides, I’m also a Brother from another Mother, but I Always Give ‘True Love to my Crowd’, even if I Know You or Not, just like ‘God Loves a Thief as Much as the Gentleman’,
To the destroyer – I may be a ‘Good Person’, but Stupid for You, But I Wasn’t Born Yesterday, I knew your type when I met you and should have taken action then, though, I hadn’t & I am a true believer in this saying, ‘What goes around comes around’ – ‘Karma’.. because, One whole lifetime, I am witnessing comebacks ‘One’ after the other’…

Everything  I am dealing with Matters to me..!
How about You?…
You thought you walk in my shoes, wake up from your dreams).. besides, did you think I didn’t see you? I bought that phone with a pre-paid card for work, costing 15 euros, & not once had I called a friend on it, not that I have anything to hide. This was one week Ordeal, now I’m constantly on my Guard, as Usual – ‘Always Expect the Unexpected?, but I, ‘With a Smile’ will live my Life happy, & Live ..:)))))…
I Walk with the benefit of the doubt, though always on Guard, & Loyal…

Truthfully we are all Humans with different Views & circumstances, we know we should be Nice to one another, though too nice is asking for trouble if you’re not careful.. besides, ‘We can’t All be the same’, with each individual walking separate paths, this is what Educates Us all – Difference & Togetherness…

Racial

I thought i got used to Racism, though to see a person minding their own business, walking down the Street, who had migrated to a Foreign country with a desire to be here.., then out of nowhere, in front of my wife & daughter, he shouts from his car, (Local Lingo) ‘Hey Blacky’, Go back Home’, slowing his car at walking pace next to the Bloke, tagging along with him; (my daughter, picks up every detail, & she is a recording machine) now he’s passing me, and i called out to him, then he slowed to a halt, with his whole arm out the car, and i said to him in English, I’m from Australia, give me a Comment, make me Laugh, & teach my daughter Something to remember you by, and by the way you are double the mans color that you had called ‘Blacky’; He Froze speechless, realizing my Wife was foreign and i was Local, when i started to speak the Local language perfectly, as i  told him to park his car, and i’l be back momentarily, pulling out my mobile, facing it to his Car, he sped off in Shame & most of all in fear..
By the way, I temporarily Live in Europe… Where anything goes..? I guess when you grow older, you understand the severity, it wasn’t fair on the people who witnessed this careless act, who placed filth upon Innocent people’s mind…  I was thanked by cars passing by, but I didn’t reply, I kept on my way, teaching my girl that this is Life, & she was at the fresh age of Four, asked saying, “Daddy, why does that man say ‘Blacky’ to the other man”; (I was ‘Fuming’ inside, but this was a moment to educate at time of need, scrounging in mind for an excuse to give to her), “because my little Princess, some people get upset with themselves sometimes, & they take it out on others”, I reply, looking at my wife, & she looks at me, in relief I had approached the matter Calm. My daughter finally adds, “Not good, naughty man”…

——————————————————————-=====================================

I try not to turn on the T.V, because all you see is Terrorist in all forms, either it being the governments fails to only increase %percentage towards taxpayers, soldiers on missions to fight Terrorist, unemployment rates, criminal activities on the rise, more violence than ever, so I don’t know why, if I’m becoming soft, though, each time I look at my growing girl, I fear the Crime rate Grows faster and stronger, as she is still young; Question is, so far I have reflected with Good manors, educating her delicately, with productiveness; ‘Now’ do I also teach her Self Defense in between; see the way I see it, I know that I won’t be there always for her, and I don’t think I can handle it if something should ever happen, Uncalled for. ‘Knocking on Wood’.
Mentally, we are forced to Keep Our Guard as society is ‘Unpredictable’, coming up with different & New ways to Cut Corners which always spells ‘Trouble’; Why you ask? Just like the 5(Five) W’s, without knowing them all, you lack knowledge also Discipline.

I sat in disgust placing images in a video, and although it needs some touch-ups, I just thought to keep the moment alive, and remind people to pass this on to people who need to see, and remind themselves, “WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER”.

Published by   www.JohnsonMjr.com

* Keep “Potion” In “Motion” *

*Keep Potion in Motion*

MY EXPRESSIONS, EMOTIONS & PERSPECTIVE TO OVERCOME PAIN OF YOU,
NOT BEING(‘THERE’) – ‘MINE’, BUT ‘HEY’, YOUR ALWAYS(‘THERE’) – ‘MINE’, 
WHEN I ‘CLOSE’ MY ‘EYES’ & ‘FOLLOW’ YOUR ‘EXOTIC LOURS’;

Stairway to heaven 2
                                                                                   
                                                                                  WITH, “VISION AS A GUIDE” ! ! !

With or without you knowing,
‘Love’ Progresses ‘Your way’,
Without a doubt, it’s going to,
Of course, the ‘Love Will Fray.

So, I’ve found a Magic Potion,
To Keep the Feeling True,
I Follow Your Every Motion,
to Keep in touch with You.

Take me by the Hands,
You take me with Passionate Desire;
Which Leads to you,
Being my Warmth of Fire.

To achieve all this,
I Just close my Eyes,
So Close you are Here,
I Fantasize – 

Welcome to heaven

To a Soul up above so High, Not even a Plane can reach beyond the Sky; 
Left me all alone, with my Grieving Heart, with, Memories & Goals of Commitment, as our Start,
have been left behind, with the Visions which Shan’t Part..
‘My Sweetheart’.

I continue my Journey to the Unknown, though, when I feel Lost & all Alone,
I Just Close My Eyes when I get Tense, with a vision of your Soothing Presence,
Spirits within To Keep Every Moment Alive, & Real..?!..

Written by    Johnson Major

https://www.google.com/search?q=johnson+major+the+ungrateful+child&oq=&aqs=chrome.1.35i39i362l2j46i39i199i362i465j35i39i362l5.3817245j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8